


I Love You More Than You Know

by DragonDancer235



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Boris Dies, F/M, Hidden away from the world, Jump into yandere relationship, Rape, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture, lots of blood, no one is safe, suicidal attemps
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 20:43:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9256304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonDancer235/pseuds/DragonDancer235
Summary: "Eren, you are hurting yourself stop it!" I snapped and grabbed his wrist to pry his fingers open I can’t have my friend hurting himself like this for no reason. His gaze which seemed to be dipped in insanity trailed up and connected with my (e/c) soft eyes. A new feeling trailed up my spine. Something wasn't quite right. My naïve nature disappeared for a moment as Eren shifted his body to face me head on. I laughed out in worry brushing it off as a sick joke. Surely it was nothing more than that. I bet the other boys are giggling on the other side of the door right now. “Eren… Are you okay?” I asked lightly slipping away from him back up the bed. Something told me that perhaps this wasn’t a joke and no one is outside of the door.





	

I sat up and whipped as much of the sleep from my eyes feeling groggy and disorientated. I could feel my muscles were still stiff and unyielding to let me move anywhere but to a sitting position. God It sucks to be up this early and it wasn’t even eight in the morning.

I began to inspect my room still in a sleepy state and noticing that the sweaty old shirt that I had deliberately placed over the back of my wooden chair had vanished. I rolled my eyes and assumed that it had fallen on the floor, ignoring that fact I pulled the covers back and checked everything else was in place. It wasn't the first time something had gone missing randomly; at first it freaked me out. I remember storming through the dormitories to find my missing item, but after the third or fourth disappearance of dirty washing and other various items such as towels and a toothbrush which was the object I went mad whilst trying to find; I became accustomed to it. From then on assumed it must have been me misplacing things or sleep walking? Although it was rather odd to find one of my old unwashed shirts in the corridor of the boy’s dormitory. I figured it must have been a prank which Reiner was pulling or something. I admit I am naïve and probably should have taken into account the weird feelings of being watched and the sound of heavy breathing that followed me pretty much everywhere I went.

"Hey (y/n)." Eren called snapping out of me train of thought and caused me to glace in his direction. I felt more at ease having a friendly face in my presence and stopping my mind jumping to any extreme conclusions that would freak me out later.

"Hi Eren why are you in my room?" I asked sleep lacing my voice as I collapsed my body back down on my bed, and stretched again not at all bothered by a male in my room with only a set of pyjamas as a barrier between him and I. I mean I’m so used to Eren dipping in and out for the past five years it no longer phased me. How old was he now? Twenty? I think if I’m right?

"I was bringing you your morning tea." Eren mumbled and held out the china mug for me. As I reached out for the beverage my fingers brushed his and I noticed how this made his face light up in excitement from what I could assume was my touch. I watched Eren flick his long hair out of his face and rest his hands on the wooden end of the bed defining his muscular forearms and allowing his low slung shirt to slip down his chest further. Giving me a perfect view of his pecks; I smirked into the white cup at the sight.

"Thank-you - By the way Eren, since you’re my best friend I have a secret to tell you!" I mumbled as I brought the mug down from my lips a smile pulling at the corners of my mouth as I watched the brunette’s eyes widened when he heard I had something to say. He over the edge of the bed and sat just shy of my small feet. I studied him debating on how to put it. I gazed at his matured features, he sure has grown. Now six foot, his eyes greener than ever, skin bronzed upon spending many days in the sun. He was a handsome man now, stronger and better than ever. I never really noticed till now.

"What is it?" He asked hope seemed to be laced in his voice as he leaned closer toward me ready to listen. I slid closer to him as the bed began to sink further under our combined weight. I quickly downed the rest of my tea and Eren took the bone-china off of me and started to play with the gold painted handle of the cup nervously as I pulled myself onto my knees and whispered into his ear. I was excited to finally tell someone only fitting it would be to my best friend!

"I'm going to tell Boris Feulner that I have feelings for him." I smiled and lent away from Eren and looked into his green orbs that turned wide in shock I was hoping for a reaction different from that. I raised my eye brows confused by the sudden expression change. There was a crack I snapped my eyes down to it to see the Bone-China shattered in Eren's hand. His grip tightened on them. I began to panic as the shards of china sunk into his hands as he squeezed the chips into his skin.

"Eren, you are hurting yourself stop it!" I snapped and grabbed his wrist to pry his fingers open I can’t have my friend hurting himself like this for no reason. His gaze which seemed to be dipped in insanity trailed up and connected with my (e/c) soft eyes. A new feeling trailed up my spine. Something wasn't quite right. My naïve nature disappeared for a moment as Eren shifted his body to face me head on. I laughed out in worry brushing it off as a sick joke. Surely it was nothing more than that. I bet the other boys are giggling on the other side of the door right now.

“Eren… Are you okay?” I asked lightly slipping away from him back up the bed. Something told me that perhaps this wasn’t a joke and no one is outside of the door.

"I am perfectly fine (y/n). Never better." His face said otherwise. My worry was overtaken by a primal fear that trailed up my spine as I retracted my hand from his wrist and slid even further back away from him, hoping to put some distance between us. Eren turned onto his knees, and crawled up following my movement. I noticed the bloody marks covered the white sheets from his hand that was cut and bleeding, I watched as the blood evaporating from the bed began to make me cringe in distaste. God, he has gone mad. It would have been one thing when he was younger, now even Levi cannot control him and that made me sick to my stomach thinking about that.

"What (y/n) do you not like seeing my blood? Is it because I'm impure?" He cooed and brought his face into my eye line. Eren’s whole body language had become wild and unsteady like a cat ready to pounce on its prey. My back hit the head board and I could feel the blood drain from my face. Eren had lost his mind and I had to be the one in the room. I’m going to die.

"You’re so perfect, so innocent, so gentle." Eren whispered his voice was now bent and warbled as he was wittering manically to himself. His fingers trailed up the vein of my neck and caressed my now paled cheek. I jerked away in terror and whimpered out a small and pathetic cry for help.

"No one is going to help you my innocent angel. Especially not that boy, Boris." Eren practically seethed the word. He made a grab for my night shirt and pulled me forward so close to his face. I could smell the sweat radiating from his body and filling the room around me. Eren’s gaze board deep into my eyes I tried not to stay in the locked stance but I couldn't help but glance at my own demise. His once bright friendly eyes were filled with nothing but lust, anger and love. The most dangerous three emotions mixed into one all aimed at me. I’m nothing special… Nothing amazing not like Mikasa Ankerman.

"You’re so pure..." He whispered and pressed his nose to the skin on my neck taking in my scent. His heavy breath against my neck made me cringe away from him as he breathed out against the sensitive skin. Suddenly from nowhere I felt warm saliva drip from what I could assume was from Eren's mouth. Terror clouded all of my senses as everything in my body and mind was screaming at me and to run away from this psycho, to find someone to help you, to protect you, someone like Boris.

"Boris!" I moaned in desperation hoping he would come in right now, wrestle Eren off of me and take me away with him to the safety of the interior. That's when I felt a sharp pain in your crook of my neck as sharp teeth pierced into the soft flesh. A scream bubbled in my throat as the pain intensified the deeper Eren’s teeth sank, I was just about to let out a strangled cry when his now healed, sweaty palm clamped down on my dry lips muffling any chance of anyone possibly hearing and coming to my aid. The pain in my neck subsided as his teeth were removed from the skin and were instead were replaced by a hot wet tongue pushing itself into the fresh wound that Eren had created. It was so painful; I don’ understand why is he hurting me!? I thought he was my best friend. Friends don’t do this to one another!

"Oh god... You taste... So pure." Eren moaned, whilst kissing and licking the fresh wound causing it to sting from the sweat and the salt on his tongue. I felt palms press me back against the head board roughly, knocking my head and releasing a small yelp into the air. Eren lent away inspecting me all over a grin taped on his face like it was the last expression he would ever have. Eren’s clammy palm was still clamped over my mouth as he looked me up and down in wild glee, causing my insides to twist in terror. The pain in my neck clouded my thoughts as Eren ran his hand down the curves of my body, which was screaming out in protest. Before anything could happen he slid his free hand slowly up my thigh and below my white nightdress.

“Stop!” I screamed into his palm as his hand went past you knee. I don’t want to be touched by him; I never have! He is hurting me? Why is he doing this?

"It's so hard to savour your purity." Eren growled in excitement as he laced his strong fingers into my underwear.

"No!" I cried and pushed my mouth into Eren's hand, parting my lips I pulled a small amount of his salty skin into my teeth and bit down far more viciously than he had on me. He yelped and retracted his hand to inspect the damage to his palm. Eren sighed out in irritation as the stupid bite began to heal at the inhuman rate stalling him for only a few seconds before I was to meet my demise. No wonder he was acting like this, he isn’t a human... He never has been. Even in those four years of knowing him he was never human.

"Hey, (y/n) you in there." The voice of Boris echoed through the room, making Eren snarl and look like he had just been punched in the gut. His hand that was twisted in my underwear began to release them reluctantly. The monster looked me dead in the eye and the entire world seemed to stop... His deep green orbs glowed with insanity and lust for my body, I flinched as he reached over and pulled a chunk of my hair around to the front of my face and began to stroke it before arranging it over the bite he had made to conceal it. He didn't release the strands just yet. I froze up as Eren began to play with it for a while longer.

"I love you so much sweet pure (y/n)" Brining up the hair to his nose he took a deep breath of my hair before moving up to press his lips to my forehead. I cringed out in disgust and tried to ignore the painful throbbing of the bite. He pulled back from me allowing me back my personal space. The insanity suddenly seemed to drain from his face as he stood up turning back into the empty mask of the old Eren Yeager. That I now don’t know anymore.

"I'm in here Boris!" I called out, trying to calm my nerve and put on a front of that bubbly naïve me. I’m not so foolish as to know that if I even remotely hinted to what just happened that Eren would defiantly kill Boris. The only boy who could possibly protect me from this beast. Watching Eren carefully he turned to open the door and resentfully allow Boris in. I could feel the disgust radiate off of him as he stared down at Boris.

"Why is there smashed china everywhere?" Boris asked as he stepped into the room looking like a soldier going off for war, his sandy hair slicked back and this shirt freshly ironed. His smile gave off nothing but happiness and caring.

"Oh, I smashed the mug I gave to (y/n) by mistake, I'm just about to grab a broom to clean it up." He smiled and strode past Boris, his smile turning into a deranged sneer as he stood behind Boris. Before his eyes wondered to mine giving me a maniacal smirk that made my spine crumble in on itself as I watched him slink off into the darkness of the hallway.

"Late to wake up are we?" Boris smiled down at me gently, whilst pulling the wooden chair out from the desk and sitting across the room from me allowing me my space. I quickly forced a smile since all I could feel was sheer pain from the side of my neck that seemed to burn with irritation from the sweat and the humid conditions. Besides the pain the true extent of the violation of my privacy began to sink in. Not only had it been ripped apart by the insane monster called Eren Yeager... I will never feel the same again… Does he even deserve a name? I subconsciously gripped the sides of my arms covering my chest in a protective manor as it struck me at the time when I should be trying to escape that, that creature will be back to hurt me more, the titans will no longer the bane of my existence it was now just one human. But could he even be called a human? He will hurt people if I tell anyone, can I do anything to stop that monstrosity? No -

"Earth to (y/n). Are you okay?" Boris waved his hand in front of my face breaking my rapid train of thought which is only dragging me deeper into fear of Eren. I looked up into his vibrant blue eyes which conveyed a gentle concern.

"Umm, yea I'm Boris I was just in thought."  My (e/c) eyes connecting with his. As soon as they connected all of my troubles melted away all of my fears and thoughts that caused me to feel physically sick.

"Anyways I better leave you to dress I wouldn't be a gentleman otherwise." He chuckled lightly as he stood up and replaced the chair back in its original position. He turned back to me and bowed down low crossing his hand over his waist in the process. Just as he was about to leave I caught his sleeve and pulled him back so he stood at the foot of the bed. I can’t let him leave Eren terrifies me… I don’t want him to leave me alone.

"Don't leave me alone." I whispered feebly my grip intensifying on his shirt.

"Here we go found one!" Eren seethed showing a clear lack of self-control. His look of hatred cast directly at Boris and the broom that was in his hands began to splinter and break under his grip.

"Is there something wrong Eren?" Boris questioned his gaze shifting to the other male in the room. A predatory grin spread across Eren's face as if it were second nature... I had pushed the limits and Boris will pay the price. I should have never said anything.

"Oh is there something wrong...?" Eren repeated with a giggle his smile grew even more menacing. Boris looked dumb struck as his hand instinctively began to clutch at the hilt of his sword, he stepped in front of Eren and I separating us both. Even though I know it’s no good since Boris against a Titan who was highly intelligent and is undeniably good at hand to hand combat. As much as I don’t want to admit it, Eren will kill Boris in titan or human form and there was nothing I can do to stop it. I have no weapons, no way of escape and I’m not even dressed properly!

"I'll tell you what is wrong Boris, you are in the way of mine and (y/n) relationship. I don't think you understand... Your ruining her purity just by being in the same Wall. I think you need be removed from this world..."

"What are you talking about!?" Boris snapped in bewilderment. He pulled out the hilt of his sword letting a little of the blade show trying to give Eren a hint that he is being a fucking Maniac. Given the circumstance I was in I would ram the fucking blade through Eren’s gut. There was a snapping of wood as the broom handle was broken in two, causing both Boris and I to jump back from the splinters littered the floor in a shower of wooded particles. Eren slung the end with the brush away and grinned down at the jagged piece he had left in his hand manically before his psychotic gaze landed to Boris. Drool dripped out of Eren's mouth as he lunged at Boris. I couldn’t move out of dumbstruck fear or and stupidity why couldn’t I move! I did nothing but sit looking on in fear, the titans were nothing compared to watching someone fight for their life against a monster who is so lustful toward me. I have to do something. Leaping up I jumped on Eren and pulled desperately at his arms.

"Eren stop it please!" I begged. Still yanking at his arm with the jagged wooden pole in hope to pull it away from Boris’ neck. Eren shoved me back with force causing my balance to go and landing with my arse on the floor. Scrambling back up I reached out but my efforts were for nothing as Eren slammed the wood into Boris’ neck before I could even make a difference. My breath stopped. I tried to scream but nothing came out. I lifted my fingers up to my face that was splattered in my lover’s blood.

"Die!" Eren shouted spit flying everywhere from where saliva dripped from the side of his mouth. His eyes wide in gleeful rage.

The monster looked up and I knew that was it. Everything froze around me.

"I killed him for you my love!" Eren gave me a dark loving smile his head tilted to one side in happiness, but I could see the darkness behind it though it wasn't a friendly smile it was a maniacal giggly smile that a child would do if they were to have their way.

"He can never be in the way again!" Eren cackled and ripped the wooden pole out of Boris’ throat allowing more crimson blood to flow out of a gigantic hole created in his neck. The world began to play as my blank stare dropped onto Boris’ face splattered with blood, he wasn't dead yet, but he was dying in the most brutal way possible. Drowning on his own blood from the wound to his neck. Recovery was impossible and his life was fluttering away. Boris once blue eyes now greying as the life drained out, locked with mine, he mouthed the three words I wanted to hear from him for so long.

"I love you."

I could feel my eyes filling with tears and I mouthed, those three words back knowing I would never hear them again.

My world was shattered, my first love died across the room from me hopefully in peace. He was brutally murdered by a villain who I would rather die than be with. Yes… I would rather die... Die... Killing myself and being with Marco in another life. Committing suicide was better than living with the burden of having to replay the memory of my once best friend killing my first lover. I stumbled over to my bedside table, Boris's blood pooling round my staggered footsteps and in between my toes causing a sticky feeling between the floorboards and my feet. My night dress stained red as I dragged myself to where my I kept my knife hidden in a hollowed out book given to me by father. Groping at my draw I pulled out the red leather bound book and opened it barley being able to see though the tears as they trailed down my red blocky cheeks and splashed onto the floor mixing with the blood that was still traveling the length of the floor.

"What are you doing my love?" Eren inquired his eyes still trained to the body of Boris inspecting the damage he had done. I barley heard it and refused to respond to the monster I gripped the knife and removed it from its sheath. Readying to slit my own throat and join Boris where ever he is.

"My love what are you doing?" I ignore the floor creaking as the monster stood up. I placed the knife against my throat and took a deep breath letting myself go as I felt the cold blade touch my skin in its kind embrace.

"I'm coming Boris." I whispered and released my breath before tilting my head back.

"Fool!" Eren screamed and smacked the blade from my hand sending it clattering to the floor. Before I could react the next thing I felt wasn’t the blades cut but a sharp pain to the side of my head and everything went black.


End file.
